Related:

• King Arthur and his armored goons of the Round Table functioned as the Politburo of a slave state
  Camelot. Of all who have written on the Matter of Arthur, from Malory to White, only Mark Twain understood this....
• Smithers: Er, um, there's some candy right here, Sir.
  [points to a box] Why don't we eat this instead of stealing?...
• Burns: [toward the Ramones] Have the Rolling Stones killed.
  Smithers: Sir, those aren't -- Burns: Do as I say! -- The perils of being Smithers, "Rosebud...
• Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.
  -- Mark Twain "Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Cou...
• WOMAN: Well, 'ow did you become king then? ARTHUR
  The Lady of the Lake, [angels sing] her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur....
• It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it. -- Mark Twai
• October 12, the Discovery. It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
  -- Mark Twain (1835-1910)...
• For myself, I can only say that I am astonished and somewhat terrified at the results of this evening's experiments.
  Astonished at the wonderful power you have developed, and terrified at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on record forever....