Related:

• HELPMATE, n. A wife, or bitter half. "Now, why is yer wife called a helpmate, Pat?
  Says the priest. "Since the time 'o yer wooin' She's niver [sic] assisted in what ye were at -- For it's naught ye are ever doin'....
• AFFLICTION, n. An acclimatizing process preparing the soul for another and bitter world.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• MUSTANG, n. An indocile horse of the western plains.
  In English society, the American wife of an English nobleman....
• UXORIOUSNESS, n. A perverted affection that has strayed to one's own wife.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Half a loaf is better than a whole one if there is much else.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• HERS, pron. His. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• IMPUNITY, n. Wealth. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• Once, adv.: Enough. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• OTHERWISE, adv. No better. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary