Related:

• Nothing screws up a good story like an eyewitness.
• HANDYMEN do it with whatever is available
• Machinists make the best screws.
• Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• Has a few screws loose. Otherwise ok!
• Ross Perot has several screws loose.
• Marge: [bright] Well, as Jerry Lee Lewis would say, "There's a whole lotta frownin' going on".
  [laughs, then says "Mmm..."] Lisa: Mom, doesn't _any_ love story have a happy ending?...
• Life is like a buffet; it's not good but there's plenty of it.
• With a name like CHOCOLATE, it's got to be good!