Related:

• A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
• I bought this thing for my car. You put it on your car, it sends out this little noise, so when you drive through the woods, deer won't run in front of your car.
  I installed it backwards by accident. Driving down the street with a herd of deer chasing me....
• The one good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.
• before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that my speech or my silence, indeed any action of mine, would be a mere futility.
  What did it matter what anyone knew or ignored? What did it matter who was manager?...
• You know you are getting older when the only thing you really want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it.