Related:

• You think New York is bad? You ought to go to Detroit.
  You can go ten blocks and never leave the scene of the crime. -- Red Skelto...
• A Beer chaser is easy to catch.
• Learn to pause--or nothing worthwhile can catch up to you.
• Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
• Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime. -- Red Skelto
• Success can make you go one of two ways. It can make you a prima donna -- or it can smooth the edges, take away the insecurities, let the nice things come out.
  -- Barbara Walte...
• A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school.
  He said, "I've been going for three months." I said, "How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?...
• Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? -- Pick up line