Related:

• Just because he's dead is no reason to lay off work.
• Before marriage, a man declares he would lay down his life to serve you
  after marriage, he won't even lay down his paper to talk to you. -- Helen Rowland...
• A carpet installer decides to take a cigarette break after completing the installation in the first of several rooms he has to do.
  Finding them missing from his pocket he begins searching, only to notice a small lump in his recently completed carpet-installation....
• This party's over, I'm going home.
• Life is just a party and party weren't meant to last.
• I lay my head on the railroad tracks, Waitin' for the double E.
  The railroad don't run no more. Poor poor pitiful me....
• I'll flip you like a cheese omelette, I'll lay you out like a wholesale carpet, buddy boy!
  -- Jeff Altma...
• Boy1: Hey, nice smile. Lisa: Thanks. Boy2: Hey, what are you talking to her for?
  She's just going to say something weird. Lisa...
• This sort of humor just gills me.