Related:

• The Guy on the Right Doesn't Stand a Chance The guy on the right has the Osborne 1, a fully functional computer system in a portable package the size of a briefcase.
  The guy on the left has an Uzi submachine gun concealed in his attache case....
• aga n. [WPI] A cuspy but bogus raving story about N random broken people.
  Here is a classic example of the saga form, as told by Guy L....
• The only time in our lives we like to get old is when we're kids.
  If you're less than 10 years old you're so excited about aging you think in fractio...
• The NRA is attempting to lift the ban on machine-gun sales.
  Well, as an avid hunting enthusiast, I've been hoping to buy a fully automatic Uzi in time for duck-hunting season!...
• I'm going to EUROPE this summer--but when I GET BACK, I'll have TRAINING waiting for me as a COMBAT ENGINEER !
  !! Sound familiar? Be all you can BE! "Ya sluzhat v'Army!...
• Welcome back for you 13th consecutive week, Evelyn.
  Evelyn, will you go into the auto-suggestion booth and take your regular place on the psycho-prompter couch?...
• Computer generated voices:) 1: I didn't expect an answering machine.
  2: Nobody expects an answering machine. 1: Our chief use is to get your name....
• TELEMARKETING The practice of ringing you up when you're on the toilet just to ask you what you think about council merge
  would you like to donate to charity X, or would you like to get Call Waiting put on your phone....
• hash collision n. [from the techspeak] (var. `hash clash') When used of people, signifies a confusion in associative memory or imagination, especially a persistent one (see thinko).
  True story: One of us [ESR] was once on the phone with a friend about to move out to Berkeley....