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• Joy to the world the teacher's dead! They barbecued her head!
  What happened to her body? We flushed it down the potty And 'round and 'round it goes And 'round and 'round it....
• Endless the world's turn, endless the sun's spinning Endless the que
  I turn again, back to my own beginning, And here, find rest....
• Have you seen the old man in the closed down market, Kicking up the papers in his worn out shoes?
  In his eyes you see no pride, hands hang loosely at his side Yesterdays papers, telling yesterdays news....
• Fresh beauty opens one's eyes wherever it is really seen, but the very abundance and completeness of the common beauty that besets our steps prevents its being absorbed and appreciated.
  It is a good thing, therefore, to make short excursions now and then to the bottom of the sea among dulse and coral, or up among the clouds on mountain-tops, or in balloons, or even to creep like worms into dark holes and caverns underground, not only to learn something of what is going on in those out-of-the-way places, but to see better what the sun sees on our return to common everyday beauty....
• The twinkle in his eyes is actually the sun shining between his ears.
• The devout Jew was beside himself because his son had been dating a shiksa, so he went to visit his rabbi.
  The rabbi listened solemnly to his problem, took his hand, and said, "Pray to God....
• Beer Goggles. See the world through the eyes of a drunk
• Most folks they like the daytime, 'cause they like to see the shining sun.
  They're up in the morning, off and a-running till they're too tired for having fun....
• Homer: Shame on all of you. Give me my dignity! I just came here to see "Honk If You're Horny" in peace.
  Manager: Sir, if you'd just quiet down, I'd be happy to treat you to a garbage bag full of popcorn....