Related:

• The countdown had stalled at 'T' minus 69 seconds when Desiree
  he first female ape to go up in space, winked at me slyly and pouted her thick, rubbery lips unmistakably -- the first of many such advances during what would prove to be the longest, and most memorable, space voyage of my career....
• The notes blatted skyward as the rose over the Canada geese
  feathered rumps mooning the day, webbed appendages frantically pedaling unseen bicycles in their search for sustenance, driven by cruel Nature's maxim, 'Ya wanna eat, ya gotta work,' and at last I knew Pittsburgh....
• The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two
  he first half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and pleasant, the second half still balmy and quite pleasant for those who hadn't heard the scream at all, but not calm or balmy or even very nice for those who did hear the scream, discounting the little period of time during the actual scream itself when your ears might have been hearing it but your brain wasn't reacting yet to let you know....
• Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever skipping along smooth wate
  ippling reality sporadically but oblivious to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an overdose of flouride as a child which caused her to suffer from chronic apathy, doomed herself to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred pound barbell in a steroid-free fitness center....
• The camel died quite suddenly on the second day, and Selena fretted sullenly and
  buffing her already impeccable nails -- not for the first time since the journey begain -- pondered snidely if this would dissolve into a vignette of minor inconveniences like all the other holidays spent with Basil....
• Awash with unfocused desire, Everett twisted the lobe of his one remaining ear and felt the presence of somebody else behind him
  which caused terror to push through his nervous system like a flash flood roaring down the mid-fork of the Feather River before the completion of the Oroville Dam in 1959....
• The Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest is held ever year at San Jose State Univ.
  by Professor Scott Rice. It is held in memory of Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873), a rather prolific and popular (in his time) novelist....
• Quote #553 The battered starship bucked and yawed in the frigid belly of the interstellar ion storm
  her tortured steel deckplates screaming as they were mercilessly wrenched by the lashing gravity tide waves, the ship's disaster alarms blaring madly and the crash lighting casting an eerie red glow in the smoke-filled bridge as StarCaptain Lazlo Permute, gripping the diskette containing the necessary navigation coordinates to finally escape the storm, waited for the elevator door to the bridge to go "ding" and open....
• Quote #549 When the mightily-hewn warrior-hero Glark One-Ea
  fed up with paying the tribute demanded by the despotic wizard Jormed-the-Doubly-Soulless, set out to single-handedly unite the warring barbarian tribes of Verfot and lead them in bloodily overthrowing the evil mage's tyranny, he envisioned a progressive tax system based upon income brackets, yet allowing deductions for business expenses, dependents, and charitable donations....