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• A Day Off So you want a day off. Let's look at what you are asking for.
  There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year, in which you already have two days off, leaving 261 days available for work....
• Nutrition tagline -Low in sodium
• MOCK APPLE PIE (No Apples Needed) Pastry to two crust 9-inch pie 36 RITZ Crackers 2 cups water 2 cups sugar 2 teaspoons cream of tartar 2 tablespoons lemon juice Grated rind of one lemon Butter or margarine Cinnamon Roll out bottom crust of pastry and fit into 9-inch pie plate.
  Break RITZ Crackers coarsely into pastry-lined plate....
• MOCK APPLE PIE (No Apples Needed) Pastry to two crust 9-inch pie 36 RITZ Crackers 2 cups water 2 cups sugar 2 teaspoons cream of tartar 2 tablespoons lemon juice Grated rind of one lemon Butter or margarine Cinnamon Roll out bottom crust of pastry and fit into 9-inch pie plate.
  Break RITZ Crackers coarsley into pastry-lined plate....
• Two sodium atoms are walking along the street when one stops and says, "Oh my God, I think I've lost an electron!
  "Are you sure?" asks the other sodium atom. "Yes," replies the first sodium atom, "I'm positive....
• While today's digital hardware is extremely impressive, it is clear that the human retina's real time performance goes unchallenged.
  Actually to simulate 10 milliseconds of the complete processing of even a single nerve cell from the retina would require the solution of about 500 simultaneous nonlinear differential equations 100 times and would take at least several minutes of time on a Cray supercomputer....
• Ok, how long will it take? For each manager involved in initial meetings add one month.
  For each manager who says data flow analysis add another month....
• How many rec.humor readers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  100-one to announce that it burned out, 10 to agree, 20 to come running in with new light bulbs and screw them in, 9 to screw them in and leave the old bulb in, 10 to ask for a videotape of the screwing, another one to come in a few minutes later and notice the bulb went out again and start the whole process all over again....