Related:

• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Since trifles make the sum of human things, And half our misery from our foibles springs.
  -- Hannah More (1745-1833) -- Sensibility...
• Inspector: Mr. Burns, in twenty years, I have never seen such a shoddy, deplorable.
  .. Burns: Oh, look! Some ... careless person has left thousands and thousands of dollars just lying here on my ....
• Lovejoy: C'mon boy, this is the spot, right here. That's a good boy, do your dirty sinful business.
  Ned: Well, howdy, Reverend Lovejoy. Nice to see you there ....
• COONDOG MEMORY (heard in Rutledge, Missouri, about eighteen years ago) Now
  his dog is for sale, and she can not only follow a trail twice as old as the average dog can, but she's got a pretty good memory to boot....
• Bart: Here we go. Kwyjibo. [places his tiles] K-W-Y-J-I-B-O.
  Twenty-two points, plus triple-word-score, plus fifty points for using all my letters....
• Peeping through my keyhold I see within the range of only about 30 percent of the light that comes from the su
  he rest is infrared and some little untraviolet, perfectly apparent to many animals, but invisible to me....
• How many Columbia students -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Seventy-six, one to change the light bulb, fifty to protest the light bulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter-protest....
• Homer: Marge, could we go in the other room? I did something last night I'm not proud of, and I don't want the kids to hear it.
  Bart: Busted! Homer: [in the other room, explaining] I'll work from midnight to eight, come home, sleep for five minutes, eat breakfast, sleep six more minutes, shower, then I have ten minutes to bask in Lisa's love, then I'm off to the power plant, fresh as a daisy....