Related:

• Ruth: [about her ex-husband] To top it off, he's been stiffing me on child support for the last four months.
  Marge: Hmm. Well, you _were_ unlucky. But there _are_ a lot of good men out there....
• Skoff's Law: A child will not spill on a dirty floor.
• A child will not spill on a dirty floor. -- Skoff's Law
• Who killed Laura Palmer????
• My inner child can beat up your inner child.
• Ballance's Law of Relativity: How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.
• The hair ball blocking the drain of the shower reminded Laura she would never see her little dog Pritzi again.
  -- 1988 Bulwer-Lytton bad writing contest, runner up...
• If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself. -- Dorothy Law Nolte
• Laura's mother: Well, I know what you're thinking, and the answer is yes.
  I want to be fixed up with one of your friends as soon as you can arrange it....