Related:

• You can't learn to become real. It's like learning to become a midget.
  -- Woody Allen, "The Purple Rose of Cairo...
• New York's such a wonderful city, but at the library the guy was very rude.
  I said I'd like a card. He said, "You have to prove you're a citizen of New York....
• I have just read your lousy review buried in the back pages.
  You sound like a frustrated old man who never made a success, an eight-ulcer man on a four-ulcer job, and all four ulcers working....
• I have just read your lousy review buried in the back pages.
  You sound like a frustrated old man who never made a success, an eight-ulcer man on a four-ulcer job, and all four ulcers working....
• Homer: Donut? Lisa: No, thanks. Do you have any fruit?
  Homer: [offers some of the donut he's eating] This has purple stuff inside....
• A single flow'r he sent me, since we met. All tenderly his messenger he chose
  Deep-hearted, pure, with scented dew still wet-- One perfect rose....
• You can only have power over people so long as you don't take everything away from them.
  But when you've robbed a man of everything he's no longer in your power--he's free again....