Related:

• A group of soldiers being prepared for a practice landing on a tropical island were warned of the one danger the island held
  a poisonous snake that could be readily identified by its alternating orange and black bands....
• WHY GOD WILL NEVER GET TENURE AT ANY UNIVERSITY 1. Only published one book.
  2. It was in Hebrew. 3. It had no references. 4. He did not publish it in referenced journals....
• Oh, he [a big dog] hunts with papa," she said. "He says Don Carlos [the dog] is good for almost every kind of game.
  He went duck hunting one time and did real well at it....
• If he had half a brain, his ass would be lopsided.
• In the Garden of Eden sat Adam, Massaging the bust of his madam, He chuckled with mirth, For he knew that on earth, There were only two boobs and he had 'em.
• Blessed are the meek for they shall inhibit the earth.
  In the Garden of Eden sat Adam, Massaging the bust of his madam, He chuckled with mirth, For he knew that on earth, There were only two boobs and he had 'em....
• He held his seat,--a friend to human race.
  -- Alexander Pope (1688-1744) -- The Iliad of Homer, Book vi, Line 18...
• The world's most avid baseball fan (an Aggie) had arrived at the stadium for the first game of the World Series only to realize he had left his ticket at home.
  Not wanting to miss any of the first inning, he went to the ticket booth and got in a long line for another seat....