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• Pardon him, Theodotus, he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
  -- George Bernard Shaw...
• NAPOLEON: What shall we do with this soldier, Guiseppe?
  Everything he says is wrong. GUISEPPE: Make him a general, Excellency, and then everything he says will be right....
• Sex is the poor man's opera. -- G. B. Shaw
• G. B. Shaw to William Douglas Home: "Go on writing plays, my boy.
  One of these days a London producer will go into his office and say to his secretary, 'Is there a play from Shaw this morning?...
• There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it -- G. B. Shaw