Related:

• Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• BAROMETER: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.
• ACCORDION, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
  -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ALDERMAN, n. An ingenious criminal who covers his secret thieving with a pretence of open marauding.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Inventor, n. A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers, and springs, and believes it civilization.
  -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...
• FRIENDSHIP, n. A ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul.
  The sea was calm and the sky was blue; Merrily, merrily sailed we two....
• LEARNING, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Misfortune, n.: The kind of fortune that never misses.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...