Related:

• This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one.
  -- Arthur Clarke...
• All of you people should be ashamed of yourselves! MicroSoft is the reason there are so many people in my IS department, and the reason half of us have jobs.
  If Sun had won, we could probably get by with two people sleeping like the Maytag man....
• Carpal Tunnel Syndrome? No. Lumber Lung? No. Jugglers despair?
  No. Achy-Breaky Pelvis? No. Oh, I'm never going to be disabled....
• Jugglers do it with more balls.
• Jugglers have lots of balls.
• Jackie: And here's a picture of me getting arrested for indecent exposure.
  It was the most embarrassing day of my life. Abe...
• Bart: That place is weird. A man in the bathroom kept handing me towels, until I paid him to stop.
  Homer: [holding a stack of towels] Should have held out longer, boy....
• You have to learn to turn back your own sheets and set a table for one without feeling pathetic.
  You have to be strong and confident and pleased with yourself and never give the slightest impression that you can't hack it without that certain goddamn someone....
• You have the attention span of a ferret on a double mocha.