Related:

• You know, it's at times like this when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young!
  "Why, what did she tell you?" "I don't know, I didn't listen!...
• You know, it's at times like this when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young!
  "Why, what did she tell you?" "I don't know, I didn't listen....
• What a wonderfully exciting cough! Do you mind if I join you?
  -- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...
• Hey, er..." said Zaphod, "what's your name?" The man looked at them doubtfully.
  "I don't know. Why, do you think I should have one?...
• Aldebaran's great, okay, Algol's pretty neat, Betelgeuse's pretty girls Will knock you off your feet.
  They'll do anything you like Real fast and then real slow, But if you have to take me apart to get me there Then I don't want to go....
• So this is it," said Arthur, "we are going to die." "Yes," said Ford, "except.
  ..no! Wait a minute!" He suddenly lunged across the chamber at something behind Arthur's line of vision....
• Listen to me, Lucy Moran, you just listen. When the Tacoma Sperm Bank was looking for donors, naturally I applied.
  It's my civic duty and I like whales. A routine physical examination revealed that I'm sterile....
• 7) "The Hitchhiker's Guide to Alternate Dimensions" by Douglas Adam
  When our universe is destroyed to make way for an interdimensional bypass, Arthur Dent, Ford Prefect, Zaphod Beeblebrox, Trillian, and Slartibartfast find themselves homeless and trapped in a series of alternate histories....