Related:

• A volcano gnome seems to walk straight out of the wall and says, "I have a very busy appointment schedule and little time to waste on trespassers, but for a very small fee, I'll show you the way out.
  You notice that the gnome is nervously glancing at his watch....
• Parker: Hey sleep is for has-beens, my friend, and you're about to have a very crowded schedule.
  This marriage scam is paying off big time. Bartende...
• Marge: So... you want to go on tour with a traveling freak show.
  Homer: I don't think I have a choice, Marge. Marge...
• You are in a very creepy room. A sign on the wall says: "MAGIC "MAGIC is the word".
• I have a very small mind and must live with it. -- E. Dijkstra
• My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers.
  He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was....
• I have a very firm grasp on reality! I can reach out and strangle it any time!
• I have a very firm grasp on reality! I can reach out and strangle it any time!