Related:

• BAPTISM, n. A sacred rite of such efficacy that he who finds himself in heaven without having undergone it will be unhappy forever.
  It is performed with water in two ways -- by immersion, or plunging, and by aspersion, or sprinkling....
• UNCTION, n. An oiling, or greasing. The rite of extreme unction consists in touching with oil consecrated by a bishop several parts of the body of one engaged in dying.
  Marbury relates that after the rite had been administered to a certain wicked English nobleman it was discovered that the oil had not been properly consecrated and no other could be obtained....
• ADHERENT, n. A follower who has not yet obtained all that he expects to get.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• DELUGE, n. A notable first experiment in baptism which washed away the sins (and sinners) of the world.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is thrust into the affairs of anothe
  from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell....
• It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is thrust into the affairs of anothe
  from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell....
• RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• LOSS, n. Privation of that which we had, or had not.
  Thus, in the latter sense, it is said of a defeated candidate that he "lost his electio...