Related:

• When there is an old maid in the house, a watch dog is unnecessary. -- Balzac
• Prudence is a rich, ugly old maid courted by incapacity.
• Cats sit in laps because it's warm there. They don't care if it's you or the radiator, so it certainly was a compliment when the owner said the cat liked me.
  Who had this cat met that it was comparing me to? The maid?...
• Todd: [watches `Gomer Pyle' on television] Ned: Is this &l
  all> he watches? Maude: Well, he used to watch `Davey and Goliath', but he thought the idea of a talking dog was blasphemous....
• HOUSE, n. A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beelte, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus and microbe.
  _House of Correction_, a place of reward for political and personal service, and for the detention of offenders and appropriations....
• Women, when they are not in love, have all the cold blood of an experienced attorney. -- Balzac
• A widow is more sought after than an old maid of the same age. -- Addiso