Related:

• Homer: [panicking, as warning sirens wail] Gotta think, gotta think.
  .. Okay, somewhere there's a thingie that tells you how to work this stuff....
• The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
  -- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)...
• The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
  -- Thomas Jefferso...
• A man on a street corner, selling flowers, wearing sunglasses, holds a sandwich board that read
  Roses are red Violets are blue At least that's what they tell me Because I'm blind....
• Homer: [reads writing on his palm] "Mindy, because of our uncontrollable attraction, I think we should avoid each other from now on.
  Lenny: [reads writing on his own palm] "Max, what I did, I did because of alcohol and anger....
• If a man runs after money - that man is money-crazy.
  If a man keeps the money he earns - he is a capitalist....
• An old Jewish man reads about Einstein's theory of relativity in the newspaper and asks his scientist grandson to explain it to him.
  "Well, zayda, it's sort of like this. Einstein says that if you're having your teeth drilled without Novocain, a minute seems like an hour....