Related:

• You need tender loving care once a week - so that I can slap you into shape." -- Ellyn Mustard
• We learn by our mistakes, why do I make so many?
• Bart: You know, Milhouse, I've been thinking: this town ain't so bad.
  Good friends, lots of lemons, numerous angel sightings....
• A woman was married to a golfer. One day she asked, "If I were to die, would you remarry?
  After some thought, the man replied, "Yes, I've been very happy in this marriage and I would want to be this happy again....
• A master was asked the question, "What is the Way?" by a curious monk.
  "It is right before your eyes," said the master. "Why do I not see it for myself?...
• To be happy one must be a) well fed, unhounded by sordid care
  at ease in Zion, b) full of a comfortable feeling of superiority to the masses of one's fellow men, and c) delicately and unceasingly amused according to one's taste....
• After meat comes mustard; or, like money to a starving man at sea, when there are no victuals to be bought with it.
  -- Miguel de Cervantes (1547-1616) -- Don Quixote, Part i, Book iii, Chap. viii...
• Homer: [into bullhorn] Marge, Marge! Marge: Homer? Home
  Look Marge, I'm sorry I haven't been a better husband....