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• What's the most popular form of birth control? The headache.
• Expecting something for nothing is the most popular form of hope. -- Arnold Glasow
• Linux Dominates Academic Research A recent survey of colleges and high school reveals that Linux, Open Source Software, and Microsoft are favorite topics for research projects.
  Internet Censorship, a popular topic for the past two years, was supplanted by Biology of Penguins as another of this year's most popular subjects for research papers....
• The following appeared in a memorandum from the president of Humana College.
  "Last year the number of students who enrolled in long-distance degree programs at OmniU niversity increased by 50%....
• The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a local newspaper.
  "During her three years in office, Governor Riedeburg has shown herself to be a worthy leader....
• Colleges and universities should offer more courses on popular music
  film, advertising, and television because contemporary culture has much greater relevance for students than do arts and literature of the past....
• USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.
  -- David Letterma...
• FAT Research has now shown that Fat is actually an alien life-form that travels the galaxy, looking for other beings to attach itself to.
  Fat beings first arrived on Earth in the late 1960s, attracted by signals sent into space by the Graceland Observatory in the US....