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• My father taught me three things: 1: Never mix whiskey with anything but water.
  2: Never try to draw to an inside straight. 3: Never discuss business with anyone who refuses to give his name....
• 1) Never try anything with tomatoes in it. 2) Never try anything bigger than your head.
  3) Never, NEVER try anything that looks like vomit....
• Long's Notes 1) Always store beer in a dark place.
  2) Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent....
• Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- P. J. O'Rourke
• You never have to promise to respect a Beer in the morning.
• Lackland's Laws: 1. Never be first. 2. Never be last. 3. Never volunteer for anything.
• (1) Never be first. (2) Never be last. (3) Never volunteer for anything -- Lackland's Law
• Lackland's Laws: (1) Never be first. (2) Never be last.
  (3) Never volunteer for anything...