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• Almost in every kingdom the most ancient families have been at first princes' bastard
  heir worthiest captains, best wits, greatest scholars, bravest spirits in all our annals, have been base [born]....
• Like an expensive sports car, fine-tuned and well-buil
  Portia was sleek, shapely, and gorgeous, her red jumpsuit moulding her body, which was as warm as seatcovers in July, her hair as dark as new tires, her eyes flashing like bright hubcaps, and her lips as dewy as the beads of fresh rain on the hood...
• Excerpts From The First Annual Nerd Bowl (#1) JOHN SPLADDEN
  Hi, and welcome to the first annual Nerd Bowl in sunny Silicon Valley....
• In recent years it has been suggested that the Second Amendment protects the "collective" right of states to maintain militia
  while it does not protect the right of "the people" to keep and bear arms....
• All the world 's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.
  They have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages....
• There were but two families in the world, Have-much and Have-little.
  -- Miguel de Cervantes (1547-1616) -- Don Quixote, Part ii, Book iii, Chap. xx...
• Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
  A: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i....
• A circus foreman was making the rounds inspecting the big top when a scrawny little man entered the tent and walked up to him.
  Are you the foreman around here?" he asked timidly....
• Bart: Hey, Milhouse. I want you to know that I'm glad at least one of us got the part.
  [Milhouse explodes] Bart: Milhouse! [a leg lands in front of him] I didn't do it....