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• For though his body 's under hatches, His soul has gone aloft.
  -- Charles Dibdin (1745-1814) -- Tom Bowling...
• Spanking Jack was so comely, so pleasant, so jolly, Though winds blew great guns, still he 'd whistle and sing
  Jack loved his friend, and was true to his Molly, And if honour gives greatness, was great as a king....
• His form was of the manliest beauty, His heart was kind and sof
  Faithful below he did his duty, But now he 's gone aloft....
• Warmed up cabbage wears out the poor master's life. -- Juvenal
• If I ever get real rich, I hoe I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• The people in the village were real poor, so none of the children had any toys.
  But this one little boy had gotten an old enema bag and filled it with rocks, and he would go around and whap the other children across the face with it....
• If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't think it would be a good idea to say, "I swallowed it.
  So sue me." -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• Mechanics have to jack it up and then do it.
• When you're up to your nose in shit, keep your mouth shut. -- Jack Beauregard