Related:

• THE OLD POOL SHOOTER had won many a game in his life.
  But now it was time to hang up the cue. When he did, all the other cues came crashing go the floor....
• I wish a robot would get elected President. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• Better not take a dog on the Space Shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• The old-timers around here still shake their heads and chuckle about that city slicker who came through, trying to peddle "hair restorer.
  He took everyone's money in a poker game, so when he tried to sell the bottles of hair restorer, nobody had any money left to buy it!...
• Once when I was in Hawaii, on the island of Kauai, I met a mysterious old stranger.
  He said he was about to die and wanted to tell someone about the treasure....
• When the age of the Vikings came to a close, they must have sensed it.
  Probably, they gathered together one evening, slapped each other on the back and said, "Hey, good job....
• A man doesn't automatically get my respect. He has to get down in the dirt and beg for it.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off and go fishing.
  But we wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some whore he picked up in town....
• The whole town laughed at my great-grandfather, just because he worked hard and saved his money.
  True, working at the hardware store didn't pay much, but he felt it was better than what everybody else did, which was go up to the volcano and collect the gold nuggets it shot out every day....