Related:

• The biggest myth, as measured by square footage, is that as you grow older, you gradually lose your interest in sex.
  This myth probably got started because younger people seem to want to have sex with each other at every available opportunity including traffic lights, whereas older people are more likely to reserve their sexual activities for special occasions such as the installation of a new pope....
• Welcome back for you 13th consecutive week, Evelyn.
  Evelyn, will you go into the auto-suggestion booth and take your regular place on the psycho-prompter couch?...
• Be sure you are right, then go ahead. -- The motto of David Crockett in the war of 1812
• One of the special beauties of America is that it is the only country in the world where you are not advised to learn the language before entering.
  Before I ever set out for the United States, I asked a friend if I should study American....
• If you can't plan ahead, plan afoot.
• Go ahead, correct my typos. I'll make more.
• The more you speak of yourself, the more you are likely to lie. -- Zimmerma
• You have a special understanding of the mentally ill, and they have a special understanding of you.
• Bart answers the door]} Man: {Yeah, hi. I got a special delivery for Homer Simpson.
  } Bart: {That's me!} Man: {[punches Bart in the face] Don't write no more letters to Mr....