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• The Three Stooges, the sinking ship, and the lone lifeboa
  Ronald Reagan: "Maybe we should save the women and children....
• My other car is underwater. -- Ted Kennedy's Bumper Sticke
• Ted Kennedy: "My nephew will walk your daughter home.
• Announcer: KBBL talk radio. And now Springfield's favorite conservative and author of the well-selling book, "Only Turkeys Have Left Wings.
  Ladies and gentlemen, Birch Barlow. Carl: Ecch!...
• Q: What did Ted Kennedy say when Willy Smith was acquitted?
  A: PAAARTY! PAAARTY! PAAARTY! ... -- As told by Jay Leno...