Related:

• Will Rodgers never met Howard Cosell.
• Howard Cosell's biggest protrusion is his asshole -- John Valby
• DON'T go!! I'm not HOWARD COSELL!! I know POLISH JOKES.
  .. WAIT!! Don't go!! I AM Howard Cosell!... And I DON'T know Polish jokes!...
• QOTD: "In the shopping mall of the mind, he's in the toy department.
• Life is too short to balance a checkbook. -- Howard Ogde
• Life's a Cabaret... Long, dull, and full of Nazis. -- Howard the Duck
• Lisa: [sobs] Mom, this is really scary. I'm going to get my first F ever.
  Marge: Cheer up! So you're not good at sports: it's a very small part of life....