Related:

• RESPIRATOR, n. An apparatus fitted over the nose and mouth of an inhabitant of London, whereby to filter the visible universe in its passage to the lungs.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ADDER, n. A species of snake. So called from its habit of adding funeral outlays to the other expenses of living.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ADAGE, n. Boned wisdom for weak teeth. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• PLEBISCITE, n. A popular vote to ascertain the will of the sovereign.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ILLUMINATI, n. A sect of Spanish heretics of the latter part of the sixteenth century
  o called because they were light weights -- _cunctationes illuminati_....
• POLYGAMY, n. A house of atonement, or expiatory chapel, fitted with several stools of repentance, as distinguished from monogamy, which has but one.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• AFRICAN, n. A nigger that votes our way. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• BATTLE, n. A method of untying with the teeth of a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the popular religious joke.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...