Related:

• Once Law was sitting on the bench And Mercy knelt a-weeping.
  "Clear out!" he cried, "disordered wench! Nor come before me creeping....
• PRESIDE, v. To guide the action of a deliberative body to a desirable result.
  In Journalese, to perform upon a musical instrume...
• LAW, n. Once Law was sitting on the bench, And Mercy knelt a-weeping.
  "Clear out!" he cried, "disordered wench! Nor come before me creeping....
• PLAGIARIZE, v. To take the thought or style of another writer whom one has never, never read.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.
  In his great work on _Divergent Lines of Racial Evolution_, the learned Professor Brayfugle argues from the prevalence of this gesture -- the shrug -- among Frenchmen, that they are descended from turtles and it is simply a survival of the habit of retracing the head inside the shell....
• RANSOM, n. The purchase of that which neither belongs to the seller, nor can belong to the buyer.
  The most unprofitable of investments. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ADAGE, n. Boned wisdom for weak teeth. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• SERIAL, n. A literary work, usually a story that is not true, creeping through several issues of a newspaper or magazine.
  Frequently appended to each installment is a "synposis of preceding chapters" for those who have not read them, but a direr need is a synposis of succeeding chapters for those who do not intend to read _them_....