Related:

• eads) 'Congratulations on choosing the Armitage-Whitworth Four Pounder Cannnonette.
  Please read the instructions carefully and it should give you years of trouble-free maiming....
• Congratulations! You have purchased an extremely fine device that would give you thousands of years of trouble-free service
  except that you undoubtably will destroy it via some typical bonehead consumer maneuver....
• Congratulations! You have purchased an extremely fine device that would give you thousands of years of trouble-free service
  except that you undoubtably will destroy it via some typical bonehead consumer maneuver....
• When all else fails, read the instructions.
• READ THIS BEFORE OPENING PACKAGE: According to Certain Suggested Versions of the Grand Unified Theory
  he Primary Particles Constituting this Product May Decay to Nothingness Within the Next Four Hundred Million Years....
• Opening night: the night before the play is ready to open.