Related:

• EYE DROPS OFF SHELF -- Real Newspaper Headline
• TEACHER STRIKES IDLE KIDS -- Real Newspaper Headline
• BRITISH LEFT WAFFLES ON FALKLAND ISLANDS -- Real Newspaper Headline
• DRUNK GETS NINE MONTHS IN VIOLIN CASE -- Real Newspaper Headline
• JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT -- Real Newspaper Headline
• PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER -- Real Newspaper Headline
• POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS -- Real Newspaper Headline
• Miners Refuse to Work after Death -- Actual newspaper headline
• Hmm, let's see... [dreams of newspaper headline: PRESIDENT DECLARES WORLD PEACE] Naah.
  .. [dreams of newspaper headline: PRESIDENT SIMPSON DECLARES WORLD PEACE] Mmm....