Related:

• 1) If someone says he will do something without fail, he won't.
  (2) The more people talk on the phone, the less money they make....
• Ozman's Laws: (1) If someone says he will do something "without fail," he won't.
  (2) The more people talk on the phone, the less money they make....
• The long narrow road stretched out before her like a string of cheese from a hot pepperoni pizza (you know
  he kind that is just out of the oven and much too hot to eat but you bite into it anyway and it burns you and leaves little bits of seared flesh dangling from the roof of your mouth that you tongue gingerly for the next week) in the early morning light....
• May your Tongue stick to the Roof of your Mouth with the Force of a Thousand Caramels.