Related:

• CHILDHOOD, n. The period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth -- two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• MAGNET, n. Something acted upon by magnetism. MAGNETISM, n.
  Something acting upon a magnet. The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge....
• Magnet, n.: Something acted upon by magnetism Magnetism, n.
  Something acting upon a magnet. The two definition immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge....
• PHOTOGRAPH, n. A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
  It is a little better than the work of an Apache, but not quite so good as that of a Cheyenne....
• LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
  We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed....
• HABEAS CORPUS. A writ by which a man may be taken out of jail when confined for the wrong crime.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• NOMINEE, n. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public office.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space.
  On the back it said, "Wish you were here." -- Steven Wrigh...