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• Clippit Charged With Attempted Murder Microsoft's Dancing Paper Clip turned violent last week and nearly killed a university student testing a new Windows-based human-computer interface.
  The victim is expected to make a full recovery, although psychiatrists warn that the incident may scar him emotionally for life....
• Texas A&M football coach Jackie Sherrill went to the office of the Dean of Academics because he was concerned about his players' mental abilities.
  "My players are just too stupid for me to deal with them", he told the unbelieving dean....
• Five-Minute University teaches you in five minutes what the average college student remembers five years after he or she's out of school .
  .. Say, if you want to take Spanish, what I teach you is "Como esta usted....
• I is a university student. -- Bumper Sticke
• Gentlemen, Whilst marching from Portugal to a position which commands the approach to Madrid and the French force
  my officers have been diligently complying with your requests which have been sent by H....
• I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. -- Jack Benny
• I SUPPORT FREE Speech! Only, IF you agree with me.
• Ah! don't say you agree with me. When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong.
  -- Oscar Wilde...
• Ah! Don't say that you agree with me. When People agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong.
  --Oscar Wilde...