Related:

• Come on," the robot droned, "I've been ordered to take you down to the bridge.
  Here I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me to take you down to the bridge....
• Making it up? Why should I want to make anything up?
  Life's bad enough as it is without wanting to invent any more of it....
• Ha, but my life is but a box of wormgears.
  -- Marvin, the Paranoid Android -- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...
• Life...loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it.
  -- Marvin, the Paranoid Android -- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...
• Funny how just when you think life can't possibly get any worse it suddenly does.
  -- Marvin, the Paranoid Android -- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...
• Sorry, did I say something wrong?" said Marvin, the paranoid human-hating robot, dragging himself on regardless.
  Pardon me for breathing, which I never do anyway so I don't know why I bother to say it, oh God, I'm so depressed....
• In the beginning, I was made. I didn't ask to be made.
  No one consulted with me or considered my feelings in this matter....
• How can I tell...that the past isn't a fiction designed to account for the discrepancy between my immediate physical sensations and my state of mind?
  -- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...
• If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.
  -- Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...