Related:

• I was 18 about six years ago - I'm 28 now.
• Yesterday I couldn't spell "computer programmer". Now I are one.
• I'll never forget the time I was flying over Milwaukee and the pilot said, "We're now approaching the great city
  let's set our watches back one hundred years." -- Jack E. Leonard...
• How many mothers in law -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  A hundred. One to change it and the other ninety nine to say, "I told you so!...
• I have everything now I had 20 years ago, except now it's all lower.
  -- Gypsy Rose Lee (1914-19970)...
• Sixty years ago I knew everything; now I know nothing
  education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance....
• Ate yerz ago i cudent evin spel injunear, now i are one!
• I used to spell badlie, but now I got worser.
• The price of Christmas toys is outrageous--a hundred dollars, two hundred dollars for video games for the youngsters.
  I remember a Christmas years ago when my son was a kid....