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• The Army is a place where you get up early in the morning to be yelled at by people with short haircuts and tiny brains.
  -- Dave Barry...
• The Army is a place where you get up early in the morning to be yelled at by people with short haircuts and tiny brains.
  -- Dave Barry...
• The U.S. Surgeon General warns that if you make a really ugly face, it could get stuck that way.
  -- Dave Barry's 1989 In Review...
• The reason we need the MX missile system is that the missiles we currently have in the ground are the Minuteman model, which is very old.
  The Defense Department can't even remember where half of them are....
• The reason we need the MX missile system is that the missiles we currently have in the ground are the Minuteman model, which is very old.
  The Defense Department can't even remember where half of them are....
• Looking for a little excitement? Well, you can get a really big charge out of using your credit card just a time or two too often.
• WE'RE GOING TO THROW THE MX AWAY AFTER WE BUILD IT.
  The MX is really [Don't tell anybody!] just a "bargaining chip" in the nuclear-arms- reduction talks with the Russians....
• WE'RE GOING TO THROW THE MX AWAY AFTER WE BUILD IT.
  The MX is really [Don't tell anybody!] just a bargaining chip in the nuclear-arms- reduction talks with the Russians....
• THE MX IS GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY. One important reason we have a Defense Department is that when we give it money
  it spends it, which creates jobs, whereas if we left the money in the hands of civilians, we don't know what they'd do with it....