Related:

• May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister.
• May a diseased elephant sit on your face.
• May a diseased yak become your houseguest for a month.
• curses! may you be forced to grep the termcap of an unclean yacc while a herd of wild rogue emacs fsck your troff and vgrind your pathalias!
• I bought this thing for my car. You put it on your car, it sends out this little noise, so when you drive through the woods, deer won't run in front of your car.
  I installed it backwards by accident. Driving down the street with a herd of deer chasing me....
• You may be redneck... if you've been accused of lying through your tooth.
• It's not often that you get so much class entertainment outside your bedroom window or outside your bedroom, period.
  -- Groucho Marx...