Related:

• Poker, n. A game said to be played with cards for some purpose to this lexicographer unknown.
  -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PAINTING, n. The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.
  Formerly, painting and sculpture were combined in the same work...
• Advice: the smallest current coin. -- Ambrose Bierce "The Devil's Dictionary
• PATRIOTISM, n. Combustible rubbish read to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
  In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel....
• RECONCILIATION, n. A suspension of hostilities. An armed truce for the purpose of digging up the dead.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss.
  It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding...
• DIPLOMACY, n. The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• CREMONA, n. A high-priced violin made in Connecticut. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary