Related:

• I just bought a new house. It has no plumbing. It's uncanny. -- Morey Amsterdam
• He was as sincere as a tap dancer's smile. -- Morey Amsterdam
• According to statistics, a man eats a prune every twenty seconds.
  I don't know who this fella is, but I know where to find him. -- Morey Amsterdam...
• I got an aunt named Minnie. Weighs 264. When she sits on the chair there's so much of her there--most of her sits on the floor.
  -- Morey Amsterdam...
• My neighbor has two dogs. One of them says to the other, "Woof!
  The other replies, "Moo!" The dog is perplexed. "Moo?...
• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
• Education: Something you get so you can work for guys with no education. -- Morey Amsterdam
• Our congressmen are the finest body of men money can buy.
  -- Morey Amsterdam (written for Will Rogers)...
• You are blind and I am deaf and dumb, so let us touch hands and understand. -- Kahlil Gibra