Related:

• Lisa: Look, we got a package from the Mr. Sparkle company in Japan.
  Homer: Ooh! [opens package, but only Styrofoam packing peanuts spill out....
• B-r-r-other! What good is having a god around if you can't get any FUN out of it?
  -- From George Perez's WONDER WOMAN...
• Homer: ...so they say I might have a problem. [finishes brushing his teeth, and polishes off a bottle of that wonderful Duff] Marge
  [reading from a pamphlet entitled, "Is Your Spouse a Souse?...
• You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question.
  -- Albert Camu...
• How many Christians -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  200!!! 100 to sit in church and pray long sonorous prayers for it to see the light again, 10 to stand on street corners and point out to others how that if they don't accept what they're being told, their light might go out as well, 3 to try and exorcise the demon of darkness out of the light bulb, 2 to gather together in "the name of the lord" because where two or more are gathered together in "his" name....
• Would you like a Yes/No prompt? (Y/N)
• Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb.
  One of them decides to call 911: Blonde: We need help....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Do you want to know what's ahead for you, in your happiness at home, your business success?
  Here's a telling test: Look in the mirror. Is your skin smooth and lovely, your hair gleaming, your make-up glamorous?...