Related:

• I will not be briefed or debriefed, my underwear is my own.
• Fortunately, I keep my feathers numbered, for just such an emergency. -- Foghorn Legho
• Bob: Ahh, Westminster Abbey. Edward the Confessor himself could not have done better.
  Now to set the clocks to Greenwich Mean Time....
• I think my mistake was yelling "Hi" to the eyewitnesses as they filed into court.
  -- Phil Interlandi...
• All I ask of life is a constant and exaggerated sense of my own importance.
• Help! My computer is holding me prisoner...