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• My uncle has a country place that no-one knows about, he says it used to be a farm before he mowed the lawn.
  .....
• Lord Rutherford was reported to have said that whoever talks about the liberation of atomic energy on an industrial scale is talking moonshine.
  Pronouncement of experts to the effect that something cannot be done has always irritated me....
• Duncan [Phoebe's Husband]: Oh God, I don't know how to tell you this.
  I'm straight. Phoebe: Huuh. Duncan: Yeah, I know, I....
• The Irish Leprechaun is the Faeries' shoemaker and is known under various names in different parts of Ireland
  Cluricaune in Cork, Lurican in Kerry, Lurikeen in Kildare and Lurigadaun in Tipperary....
• aga n. [WPI] A cuspy but bogus raving story about N random broken people.
  Here is a classic example of the saga form, as told by Guy L....
• ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal.
  It is put about the neck and remains in place one's whole life long....
• WHENEVER ANYBODY SAYS he's struggling to become a human being I have to laugh because the apes beat him to it by about a million years.
  Struggle to become a parrot or something. -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988....
• There is a sumptuous variety about the New England weather that compels the stranger's admiration -- and regret.
  The weather is always doing something there; always attending strictly to busine...
• Two drunks sitting at the bar. One drunk says, "Hey, did you hear about the new ice cubes with the hole in the middle?
  The other drunk says, "Whaddya mean hear about 'em? I married one!" -- Hap Happy...