Related:

• If a student has to study, he will claim that the course is unfair. -- M. M. Johnsto
• I taught him everything he knows!
• Reality is not only stranger one imagines, but stranger than one CAN imagine.
  -- J. B. S. (the biologist) Haldane...
• When a man pulled two guns on convenience store clerk Wazir Jiwi and demanded money, Jiwi asked how much he wanted for one of the guns.
  He said $100, which Jiwi paid him. Then Jiwi offered to buy the second gun....
• God wanted to have a holiday, so He asked St. Peter for suggestions on where to go.
  "Why not go to Jupiter?" asked St. Peter. "No, too much gravity, too much stomping around," said God....
• Just ignore him. He has no idea what he's talking about.
• Certainly, I know what to do, and when I am Vice President -- and I will be -- there will be contingency plans under different sets of situations.
  And I tell you what, I'm not going to go out and hold a news conference about it....