Related:

• If you want to know how old a man is, ask his brother-in-law.
• In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
  -- Margaret Thatche...
• If you really want to know, you won't ask me.
• That wife of mine is a liar," said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him in a bar.
  "How do you know?" the friend asked. "She didn't come home last night, and when I asked her where she'd been she said she'd spent the night with her sister Shirley....
• How do you cure a woman of Nymphomania? Marry her!
• Murphy's First Law for Husbands: If you run into an old girlfriend -- no matter how innocently -- your wife will know about it before you get home.
• Men: [jogging] "I knew a woman in Paris, France, Had a big hole in her underpants" -- Skinne
  Wait, wait, wait, wait. Where did you pick up that filth?...
• Old Ladies Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette.
  It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke....