Related:

• Be sober and temperate, and you will be happy. -- Benjamin Frankli
• TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.
  Moses Mendlessohn having fallen ill sent for a Christian physician, who at once diagnosed the philosopher's disorder as trichinosis, but tactfully gave it another name....
• You Earth people glorified organized violence for forty centuries.
  But you imprison those who employ it privately. -- Spock, "Dagger of the Mind", stardate 2715.1...
• If at first you don't recede, DIET, DIET, again!
• You have to be cheerful sometimes, you know.
• Life's a bitch, and then you diet!
• If you suspect a man, don't employ him.